Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize