I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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