i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
