A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
