Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
