It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
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That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?