I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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