Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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