it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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