fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
