People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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