oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
