her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Panties = found
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