At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
