Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
