honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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