u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
