Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Found the puke drawer
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
