sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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