Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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