How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
