the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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