Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i barfeds in our rink
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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