my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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