We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
