If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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