it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
