there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
