I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
