you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
