omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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