I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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