swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Sorry about my life...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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