If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
