people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
