I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
