ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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