Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He shit in the fireplace
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
