We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
