Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Randomize
