if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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