I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
