We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
