i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
