I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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