At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
