they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
