i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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