I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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