why didn't you poke me back
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
not ubering you a puppy
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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