i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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