I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize