Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Can I color on your dick again?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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