Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
