Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
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