so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
