Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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