You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
