he wants to bone in the snuggie
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize