Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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