i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
