i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
